A Mistake: Poem Explanation

     The poem I wrote below is about Gatsby's distorted view on life and love. We learned while reading the book though that Gatsby did not even love Daisy, but just the idea of her. She was a "nice" girl. He loved her title, presence, looks, and money she had. When he left to make himself a man that could be with her without being embarrassed, he did not realize they could not start back up where they left off. Gatsby felt lost, disappointed, but determined. He would take Daisy back to the past and make her relive it with him--the way that it was supposed to be if Gatsby was from old money. It is obvious to readers though that Gatsby was strange in this way. I wanted to write about how Gatsby did not understand that learning from the past is beneficial, but to relive it is a mistake.

Just Out of Reach

Five years next November.

Can't repeat
the past?
Why of course you can!
I'm going to fix everything
just the way it was before.

He looked around wildly,
as if the past were lurking
in the shadow,
just out of reach of his hand.

Oh, you want too much!
I can't help what's
past.

She vanished into her rich house,
into her rich, full life,
leavving Gatby--
nothing
just out of reach of his hand.



(87), (110), (132), (149)

Just Another Teenager

What comes to mind when thinking of what goes on in the teenage brain?

How did the word teenager have such a negative connotation? Writer Debra Bradley Ruder says, "teens are easily influenced by their environment and more prone to impulive behavior?" Is it true? Are teenager just unwired, careless beings? Physician at Harvard Medical School Frances E. Jensen agrees saying, "[Teens] are people with very sharp brains, but they’re not quite sure what to do with them.”
What shaped me to be the teenager I am as I stand before the world today?

For starters, what was I taught to be the key to success? What should I hungrily desire? What was I taught is good?

Sure,  money is corrupt. It will break down your morals. Money is equivalent to greed: the more you have, the more you will want. But what is money ultimately?


Money is the tour guide that will lead you through life if you wish. It is hard to follow dreams without thinkning of a price. This is true even more so in my case because I have always wanted to be a teacher. It was a career choice my parents treated as if it were a joke or an atrocity. My parenthe ts recommended other job choices to me, "Be a lawyer, you're so good with words." Or, "Pharmacy is so easy to do! Why don't you try to be a pharmicist?" They warned me, "You know, by the time you become a teacher, there will probably be no more jobs left for you." And they tried to persuade me, "You'll be so much happier if you have money!"


This is when I found out, career paths have price tags on them. Everything does.


I began convincing myself that maybe my life would be easier if I earned more money. Maybe money was better than a passion for my job. Therefore, I took a Medical Technology class even though I did not care for the medical field. I convinced myself, maybe I would be lifeless, upset forever. But maybe not. I might be satisfied with my life as a pharmicist. It was going to be an easy life filled with things I wanted. It would be better than a life filled with wanting. I realized, yes, love, family, happiness is important, but money is success, and success without money is not recognized.


American essayist, poet, and transcendentalist, Ralph Waldo Emerson writes in his essay "Self-Reliance", "A man is to carry himself in the presence of all opposition." I do not think I can agree with Emerson's idea because I believe he is being too idealistic, and in some aspects, impractical. Of course, many people will rebel against authority figures. Students and teenagers may resist against teachers and parents, but not everyone can stand up for their beliefs. The people that stand up from their beliefs are brave. What are the people who are not brave supposed to do? I am not brave; I lack courage. I do not have the courage to know what I am thinking is always "right" or "good" enough to fight for. I do not have the assurance. 


But ever since I was younger, I was taught to stick up for what I believe in. I should not have to be afraid. I was not to be a part of the mass, I was to be an individual  for "right" or "wrong". As writer and professor at Purdue University Louis Rene Beres says, "submission to multitudes has become our state religion."I agree with Beres. I am a conformer, a part of the mass. I dislike standing out and being different, an individual. I am not interested in sharing my thoughts and feelings unless called upon to: I am not brave enough. ravery is one intangible thing that is missing from my daily life. I am not brave. I think brave people have a wider range of experience than me. For example, brave people are quick to accept challenges; they do not care if they fail or succeed. Sadly, a big part of me does not only do a strenuous activity unless it is required of me because I am afraid of what people will think of me if I fail or succeed. Similarly, brave people will share their opinions without being concerned about what people will think of what they say. Instead, brave people will only be concerned with sharing their idea. I, on the other hand, will not share my opinions unless necessary. And once I do share my opinions, in my head, I am always secretly analyzing what people think of what I just said. Of course my fears and some habits have gotten better with time—especially since grades are also based on participation—but I still do not think I will ever be naturally brave. It’s difficult to be a part of the “mass” and have very little bravery in my life, but I’d rather be a coward than be an individual.

How am I supposed to "find myself", if I do not want to go back to my roots, the basics, nature? I am heavily influenced by technology to the point of addiction, to the point where I am never "alone."  Emerson writes in his essay "Nature", "To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society." It seems people of the twenty-first century then, are never alone.A large majority of our society is surrounded by electronics all day. Even if the electronics are not in use, the wavelengths the devices will emit, interrupt our natural wavelengths. There are more and more medical studies saying people should unplug their electronic devices from outlets when we want to get a true good night's rest. Also, I feel I am never alone thanks to the several social networking websites. Even though I am in solitude physically, I can be having a conversation with a friend on Facebook, videochatting on Skype, or reading a celebrity's posts on Twitter. It is hard to be in true solitude when there are the many lures of the Internet.


I am just another person filled with opinions and ideas. I am a transcendentaist. I am just another teenager.

The Perfect Balance

Why do immigrants choose our nation as a safe haven? What is it about our country that makes it look so great in the eyes of outsiders?

Walter believes there is nothing. His life is filled with nothingness. He works as a college professor, owns two homes, and a grand piano, drinks wine, and listens to classical music. But he is not living a real life before he meets Tarek. He says so himself that he was “doing nothing” and simply "pretending to be busy". What is so outstanding then, about a nation that drives people to live an empty life? Freedom.

You do not get to choose freedom; nobody does. Fate decides how much freedom you get. Where you are born decides how much freedom you get. What race you are decides how much freedom you get. Who you are born to decides how much freedom you get. Freedom is decided even before you are born. Freedom is everything; it decides how a life is to be lived. And so, fate is everything. A factor no one can control, decides life.

Freedom is hard to come by. Fate is cruel. Freedom is fated.

Or so it seems. Walter lives in a country where he is free to do almost anything he wants. Tarek, on the other hand, must live a restricted life, both in his home country and in America where he is considered an illegal. Tarek lives a happier, freer life. He forgets the fear and dangers in his life. He lives a life filled with love and happiness. He lives “doing things” in a country where he does not even belong. What is so different about Walter and Tarek? Appreciation.

How many times in one day do we, free Americans, appreciate the rights that are handed to us on a silver platter? I know for a fact, I never stop to give thanks to the many material items I own, just because I was born in this country. I never thank God for letting me be born in a place that does not openly discriminate against race, sex, and religion. Why? Because I have never been without luxuries. I have never starved, been dying of thirst, worn old, unwashed clothes, only owned one pair of shoes, not had a place to sleep at night, not had a roof over my head, and therefore I have never felt the need to appreciate.

You never know what you have until it’s gone. But how can you appreciate something if you’ve never even had it to begin with? How do illegals appreciate America when it is not their country?

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.

-Voltaire

Freedom is fated, but how one lives their life is up to the individual. Freedom is not a completely limiting force; it is difficult to control, but it is not an extreme that dictates exactly how lives are to be lived and how they will turn out. If we do not have it, it is simply an excuse, a set back, a factor to help people try harder, to find a perfect balance.

Reflection

I chose to do my Mash Up on the topic of listening or rather, lack of listening. I believe that this theme was a small part in the books we read compared to love, marriage and success. Although the theme plays an underlying role, it is still very important and I believe one of the most relatable themes for high school students because everyone gets ignored. It is a sad and sometimes irritating fact. It is hard for people to listen when everyone wants to say what is on their mind. Many people do not realize the more time we spend not listening to others and only thinking that our answer is correct and just, we do not become more intelligent. We become ignorant. This is clearly portrayed when Biff wants to confront Willy about being an average man that makes money from the hard work he puts into it, Willy finds it hard to accept. Willy can see that Biff loves him, but he blocks out the thought that Biff will not be well liked or well known. Willy's stubborn view of life results in death. While everyday situations are not as severe as Willy's, not listening to the opinions and thoughts of those around you result in thoughts not developing and maturing. Only thinking your brain has all the answers in life will not get you far at all. To end, I want to share one quote I found while researching that I really liked: "To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also." -Igor Stravinsky Truly listening and just hearing are completely different. Being involved and thinking will help you grow as a person; while, hearing and ignoring will bring you nothing but pain.

Listen

A wise owl sat on an oak; The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why are we like the wise old bird?

Sh...

Now pay attention

The rock--it's talking. And the fog, too, and the grass and the goddamn mogooses. Everything talks. The trees talk politics, the monkeys talk religion...The place talks. Understand...it truly talks.

...you got to listen to your enemy.

Because that's the moment we really know what we're made of.

Listen!

Just listen.

So they listen

All they do is listen

Absolute silence. They just listen.

You hear that?

Shh!

Don't interrupt.

I didn't say a word. Did I say a word? [I] didn't say anything.

Sh-sh-sh!

Don't say a word. Don't you dare. Not a word.

I was talking, wasn't I...Will you let me talk?

Don't talk anymore.

Ah wanted to preach a great sermon...but they wasn't no pulpit for me.

There was no place for me. Nobody listened.

Nobody hears nothin'

Not a single sound, except they still hear it.

The town could not talk and would not listen

So new thoughts had to be thought and new words said

People said what others wanted to hear. Thoughts and words were no longer one.

Shut up!

Don't yell...stop yelling...!

He wouldn't listen to you.

He certainly will listen to me.

Most people never listen.

They don't got tongues. All ears.

This is never the case. Never.

...no theme, no message, no thought.

Silence.

That quiet--just listen. That's your moral.

Listen!

1. Chinese proverbs

2. Arthur Miller 27

3. Arthur Miller 82

4. Tim O'Brien 71

5. Tim O'Brien 73

6. Chris Abani

7. Arthur Miller 18

8. Tim O'Brien 104

9. Tim O'Brien 69

10. Tim O'Brien 70

11. Tim O'Brien 68

12. Arthur Miller 26

13. Arthur Miller 41

14. Arthur Miller 62

15. Arthur Miller 62

16. Zora Neale Hurston 93

17. Benjamin Percy

18. Arthur Miller 65

19. Arthur Miller 68

20. Zora Neale Hurston 16

21. Original

22. Tim O'Brien 73

23. Tim O'Brien 72

24. Tim O'Brien 143

25. Zora Neale Hurston 811

26. Original

27. Zora Neale Hurston 86

28. Arthur Miller 65

29. Arthur Miller 121

30. Arthur Miller 121

31. Ernest Hemingway

32. Tim O'Brien 69

33. Original

34. Tim O'Brien 74

35. Zora Neale Hurston

36. Original

37. Tim O'Brien 104

38. Beyonce